How do we enter intentional community?

If this were seven years ago,

I’d say that I don’t like

intentional communities,

because I was bad at it.

White women don’t like

to be bad at things,

and we’re typically

defensive to feedback.

Introverts don’t

thrive in unexpected

social gatherings,

and we don’t see ourselves in fantasies

of walking slumber party friendships.

We need space

to detach,

and link up again,

indefinitely,

with clear asks

stated upfront,

in check ins,

as debrief.

Seven years ago

I didn’t know about introverts,

and I didn’t know I was one.

White women are slow to

meet ourselves,

and we bring our

self confusion into

groups we’re a part of.

trauma takes what you’re confused about

and hides the question in your skin.

you get triggered without asking why,

because you’re too busy thinking no.

What does intentional community require?

At least self knowledge.

Better, self knowledge we can communicate.

Even better, self knowledge we can use.

Best though,

an environment that can hold boundaries,

an internal life that can be a refuge,

relationships built on honest assessments,

and permission to start again.

Hopefully, with more information,

and enough graciousness.